When home becomes your own

When home becomes own, the definition and rules becomes slightly different. 

Everything in the house becomes your business, cleanliness, maintenance. 

Do we appreciate our parents enough that they do so much to keep everything neat and tidy?

How do we balance what is at home and what is at work? 

I feel like a parasite when I lived with parents.

Work-life balance is ever more apparent now.

Odoru Akita - 28 Nov to 5 Dec

Akita (Dec 2022)

- Care given and care taken - private practice for dancers, nearby rooms for them to practice their bodies

- Comfortable business hotel with Onsen, hotel doesn't want shoes. You keep your shoes in the locker before accessing the hotel. Which is great and makes the whole hotel a big house. 

- Bring a plastic bag to throw things

- My healing journey for my own mind, and body and soul. (after busyness in 2022)

- At 35, learning and knowing how to heal yourself is important.

- No speaker in practice room

- Play music on CD for show (on show still never go the sound for me on cue, sigh) - SOUND 3 GO.

- Impressed with them cutting the wood for me onsite with their very sharp knife.

-Himalaya brand lip balm and moisturiser is amazing. They are very good for winter.

-Sunny step shoes has braved snow and ice. And its quality is amazing. Has protected my feet from the wetness of the weather. Waterproofing 100%

- Korea - Japan food history is interesting - this combo of food has been nothing but delicious.

- To read more into the contemporary dance history in Japan vs ballet, vs other things

- Tried the Onsen. It is really good for the cold weather. Hot weather maybe not because it is hot enough. 

- I should come to find the Lady of Akita next time (when it is not so cold)

-Had fun walking around the city with Chiaki-san. She is amazing :) and so hospitable. 

Dryness in Creation

 Revisiting after 3 years?! Omgee, I think many things happened and hence I did not revisit this blog? Why did it come to my mind this year? Somewhere in my brain, subconsciously I am reminded to revisit this place. I will go and read my previous posts, maybe I will find something.

Why am I here? Maybe i need a place to rant. A place to pen down thoughts that is crowding my brain. These 1+ years, beginning 2020-present, hasn't been easy for anyone. Dealing with Covid, dealing with all changes that come with it. 

I am starting to ask why am I doing what I am doing. Are there more things I would like to say? In my creative journey, I am facing some kind of dryness. It is not that I do not like to create anymore; rather, I am looking for that spark. The spark that can ignite. The spark that gets the fire going.

When it comes to productions, there are many requirements that I think about. Whether technically possible etc etc etc. Logistical concerns vs design decisions vs budget. It is all part of the equation ---- I am starting to think whether my ideas are enough. Enough to tell the story that we are trying to tell. Enough to make a statement. Enough for people to feel enough. 

Am I enough?

若無其事

當有人辜負了你，而沒有去做任何交代，用那招若無其事來處理。
我很傻，清醒之後才意識自己被騙，被利用。
之後他說的話，做的事，都蒙上了一層污。
無法再讓自己去相信你說的話，做的事，我無法若無其事。

The film : 霸王别姬 Farewell my concubine

I watched a great piece of film- 霸王别姬.

In order to become and continue in their Art, they made many personal sacrifices. All of these in the name of their Art. So what if they reached the peak of their careers? At the end of the day, what really mattered?

Why do we become what we become. Enough of existential crisis for now. I am glad I picked this movie to watch it again at this point. At a point where I am having a little more idea how to navigate this thing called Art.

Imagery
The film's cinematography is to be applauded. How the shots were framed are ever so theatrical and encompass heavy poignant meaning. The imagery of the goldfish living in murky waters vs goldfish living in clear water and the whole feeling of being underwater - muffled, unclear, cannot seem to comprehend anything clearly. Its a reflection of Dieyi's opium addiction into cold turkey treatment and eventually getting out of it. It is truly the craft of the creative team to link these two images together and one feeding off the other to show the turmoil and struggle that Dieyi had to get thru to kick his addiction.

Color of film
I am not an expert at this, but I do feel there is some alteration of color in the film as the film played. The film starts off being blu-ish (the hellish training by their shifu) and it turns warmer after they have grown up to become the superstars of their Art.

Lighting
There is an emphasis on seeing the light source in the film. At various points, light became an important character in the film. Points where I saw light as a character:

1) The interrogation
2) The suicide by Ju Xian
3) The final scene (stage lighting)

The bigger picture
The story of 霸王别姬 is played in the turbulent times. In these turbulent times, the things people have to do to ensure survival. The things people do to ensure continued success. The things people do to make themselves valid in the current times.

Re-visiting in 8 months

I think I dived under when I started writing my thesis. I have graduated and moving on to new things already. 😂

Wanted to blog about a current ear worm. I have liked his songs since 2012 and became a fan of his, his songs accompanied me in some of my darkest days and also stressful study periods.

The current ear worm I have is his song 天真有邪. 

雖然放下，但天真已不在。

Dicey business

Watched the replay of this show in 2016 , Dicey Business (2006). Its been a long time since i watched a good Hong Kong serial. A good show makes one want to keep watching it to know the ending, a good show that makes you empathize with the characters or even the actor. 

A good show never goes out of fashion. 

Infused with heart and human factors.

小時候 . a feel

It's pretty interesting how some of things that I used to take note of in the past, i.e like stare at some place for a long long time when the bus goes past......that it gets attention on websites. Or that I will sorta remember it in my memory bank that this place that I used to notice is no longer there. 

Whatever the case, i think curiosity opens up interesting doors for me. Would be act on it next time to visit a place if it catches my eye :D, somewhere somehow, the auras of things and places catches the people it wants to catch. It may unlock some other things that I do not know existed in me. 

Exciting times. 

Time(less) places

It is pretty interesting when I read earlier posts. With time, we grow.

This blog reminds me the interesting things that I am interested in at that time, in that age. It is a wonderful diary to inform me and appreciate things that I have now. Or perhaps have a certain change in perception about something. The power of memories, the power of memory, the power of history.

Recently there has been a spate of reports and arguments about tearing down places that have grown into something precious and harbours things that is only possible with time.

-A nature reserve that serves an awesome ecosystem, stabling the land, the infrastructure and a peaceful place for humans to rest and revel in its beauty.

-A place that has seen some important events and has recorded cracks, scars, architecture, history, taste over time.

Only with time, these places are able to exude such beauty and grace and dignity. I don't know how much dignity can a train give me except that it is more convenient to get from point A to point B. Perhaps there are plans to make residential units for us selfish humans to live in, hence the infrastructure. Well, I am not sure how to make figures work. I can only comment that people need to consider that time that we don't see growth does not mean it has been wasted. There are so many things that are happening with time. Open your bloody eyes and see the beauty that Nature and Time has created together. These are things that come for free, things that Nature feel that this area needs.

Building more time(less) and unfeeling buildings do not make a place more exciting. Putting more shopping malls does not solve anything.

This brings me to another thought that has been bothering me. A usual way of thinking to archive things is to put them into a space. A space that has been created specially to put expensive works (of art). What is the value of art? In a collector's gallery? In a museum?

I do respect all artists and the heart they put into their work, I am just unsure of the numerous spaces we have - to put them.

When something happens, nobody wants to own up even if the truth is so apparent. Cant help but feel a sense of hopelessness in the things that people place value on. Eeks. We need to find our hearts back. May we all find it back.

That little pie that belongs to you

I have heard many stories about big fnb establishments with humble origins making it big because of many years of trial and error and never say die attitude to create the best dish ever to make it big in the food scene.

-Many stories about fights within the establishment who is the real authentic one
-Many stories of close knitted partners splitting up to setup their own humble shop selling the same thing (most of the time as their neighbor or just down the street)
-Many stories of differing views and objectives that led to the split

These stories are apparent in all establishments in fact. No matter what the case might be, I applaud those who are brave enough to stand out and prove themselves (whether they may be authentic or not). God is fair and He gave us different yet equal talents. Time and customers will tell who is the authentic one.

We all have that little pie that specially belongs to us that no one can replicate easily. I am searching, seeking and growing mine :) .

That little pie that is in each of us will tell us how we should go forth.